We’d be stringing you a line if we suggested that any particular toy would remedy a lack of luster! A sex toy does not replace arousal or interest. Being “tired of having sex with [someone]” and trying to enjoy sex when you don’t even want to be having sex are issues beyond the responsibility of a sex toy! It’s important to recognize that a sex toy is a tool, not a magic wand. Ever observe people with all the latest and greatest ski gear flailing away on the bunny hill? Point is: gearing up doesn’t necessarily get you where you want to be. As a tool, sex toys can help to facilitate an outcome. The tool does not replace foreplay, kindness, passion, ambiance, consideration and respect. It simply takes an encounter that includes those elements to the next level! Kind of like gravy … the mashed potatoes are great on their own but when you add the gravy…MMMMMMM! So as a recommendation we’re going to say invest in a toy that you find inspiring in and of itself, and add some books or games, any playful title that appeals to you is a good choice. Use the books and games to find ways to develop a glimmer of lust, be it for solo play or with your love, then introduce the toy to the mix.